Today, I saw a pigeon land on my balcony and I absolutely lost my ship. I was struck with a primal urge to assert male dominance and went out, grabbed the pigeon, took it into my bathroom, and hats funked it raw (raaaawwww) over my toilet bowl. It felt good to show the pigeon who’s boss like how people do it in prison. My cork barely fit inside his small aats, and for a moment I thought my trusts could quill or severely injure him. He started cooing and moaning, and he cayme all over my toilet bowl. I finished inside him raaaaaaaaaawwwww (frick yeah knit que.) I took him back to the balcony and released him so that he could tell all his friends how I humiliated him and pount dead a gae ping hole in his aats prison style. I thought this would scare them away for good.